People sometimes wonder about the “goals” of therapy. This is a reasonable question. But the bottom line is that life is complicated and growing up is hard. We most likely suffered emotional injuries that we considered normal and “not terrible” – being kids whose voices were not heard, respected or cultivated. Or as kids we were not helped enough as we tackled the tasks of growing up. Or put into family roles that kept us from developing our own unique identity.
Maybe you’ve been to therapy before and it didn’t “stick”. You’re still left with all these questions about why you feel the way you feel, and in some ways trapped in your own head or with your own inner voice. Maybe that inner voice came from a harsh or difficult childhood, maybe the harsh thoughts about yourself just showed up one day and you didn’t realize influences and your reactions built up over time.
The goal of therapy, in my opinion, is to better understand the influences that shaped us in order to make sense of our present selves. And to develop the skills and perspectives to help us navigate all the challenges of our world. And make the most of our future lives. This is the process of knowing ourselves more fully.
Having a better understanding of the events that shaped us and how we tolerate and accept the tough and frustrating feelings we experience is an important part of knowing yourself and knowing that the feelings and uncertainties won’t last. Therapy isn’t just an intellectual experience, but an emotional experience that can help you know yourself more fully, be able to find self-confidence, and not look to others for validation they now find inside themselves.
Yes, I can work with you. You don’t need to be fixable, you just need help finding answers.